I can make my life so ponderous. Sometimes I behave as if, for something to be worthwhile, it has to weigh two emotional tons. I am drawn to the extremes of life. I like strong tasting food -- black coffee, red wine, dark chocolate, and broccoli. When I cry, I sob. My husband says my sneezes shake the walls. When I laugh, tears stream down my face.
But I don't laugh too often. And why not?
I'm a textbook oldest child, overly responsible, serious, hard-working -- except when I am evading responsibility, looking for gossip on the internet, and finding excuses not to wash my floors. It's all the same pattern, two sides of a coin. I want to look serious all the time, so instead of playing for real, in healthy ways, I cheat. I don't want you to know I eat cake and drink Diet Coke. I don't want you to know how addicting I find political blogs or that I know everything there is to know about Mad Men.
I have trouble having fun.
I want to do better.
Here's the thing: I've been feeling a lot lately that life is short. Maybe it's that I'm on the verge of 45. The impending menopause? The grey hair? My oldest turning 16? My parents and parents-in-law edging into their 70s? (Feel free to stop me any time...)
I'm also tired of the clandestine "fun," which, truth be told, often isn't that much fun. I'm sort of over cake, believe it or not. Politics gets old. And I don't have cable, so I can't watch the new season of Mad Men until it gets to Netflix. But I digress.
I'd like your help. I'm going to start a list of things to do for fun, and I want you to join in. What, pray tell, is fun for you? What makes you smile or laugh out loud? NOT, please, what you think you ought to find fun (for example, playing Candy Land with your darling children; that may be noble, but it is NOT fun). Post what you really enjoy, maybe, if you're like me, in spite of yourself.
Post your answers in the comments here or on Facebook. Here are a few of mine:
watching The Daily Show with my husband and the Muppets with husband and kids
hiking where there are lots of trees
dancing to 80's music
playing in the pool
listening to my kids tell jokes or play the piano
visiting with my sisters, in person, because they make me laugh so hard
folk music and show tunes
I'll add more. You do too.